Would you agree, that in this technologically advanced era we’re living in, people - more specifically millennials - have forgotten how to properly communicate with one another? We're more shy and awkward than we used to be? That we’ve lost touch with nearly all forms of reality due to the side affects of comparison, anxiety and depression that social media, Hollywood and society has developed within us?
Nowadays, it’s extremely difficult to open up to people and let them know how we truly feel about them because of fear of rejection, produced by society constantly telling us we’re not good enough.
We've all become closed off, afraid to let new people in.
I’m one of those people.
When trying to meet somebody new, whether platonic or romantic, it could be irritating not knowing what they truly feel towards you.
One minute they’re hot and you’re thinking, 'Okay, they’re definitely vibing with me.' Then the next minute they’re cold and you’re like, 'Well shit, maybe they hate me. Screw them.' and go on an endless cycle, plucking daisies, stressing over what could’ve went wrong when in fact, nothing happened.
Trust me, been there, done that…many times.
We live in such an emotional and fear driven world that it takes a lot to get people to open up and let you in. It doesn’t always mean they hate you…
Always.
Today I’m going to show you five ways to tell if the person you’re interested in is shy or just not that into you.
1. EYE CONTACT, OR LACK THEREOF
Now the level of eye contact a person gives you isn’t the best tool to use when it comes to the analysis of how they might feel about you, however, it can play its part.
Both eye contact and lack thereof can have many interpretations, making it difficult to know how somebody feels based on that alone.
For example: When someone holds great eye contact with you, it could mean one of two things:
1. Yes, they like you. They're being intimate, focusing on you, listening to what you have to say and trying to non-verbally show you that you have their undivided attention.
Or
2. Eye contact can also be a sign of respect. They have most likely been taught to use eye contact when communicating with people as a sign of respect and interest in what they’re saying. It’s habit.
Either way, if someone’s giving you eye contact, it all boils down to respect and interest. At least you have that going for you.
(If you’re interested in knowing how someone feels romantically, pay attention to signs of flirting. Obviously if they’re giving eye contact AND making moves towards you, they like you.)
On the opposite end of the spectrum, there are people who will completely go out of their way to NOT to make eye contact with you.
This usually means:
a.) They’re put off by you and are trying to make it completely transparent that they’re NOT INTERESTED.
Or
b.) Something about you makes them nervous.
Simple as that.
Let’s draw up some examples, shall we?
Say you’re in a room with said person and you notice they keep giving you subtle glances from across the way. Every time you look their way, their eyes shoot across the room. You take this as your opportunity to go up and talk to them. During your conversation, they make it a priority to stare at everything BUT YOU. Their chewed up Starbucks straw, the Taco Bell across the street that they can see from the window, the random group of people in the hall who they’ve never met before.
EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING BUT YOU.
However, you do notice possible signs of interest including glances your way, smiles, laughter at your corny jokes, interest in your life, etc.
I - I AM THIS PERSON.
The more I like someone, the more awkward I get. Trust me, it’s annoying. I can confidently tell you that if someone acts awkward around you when you know they’re not usually like this, they probably like you.
TIP: If you’re interested in someone and they’re not giving you any eye contact or showing any signs of interest, move on. There are way too many people out there to stress over one.
All in all, the amount of eye contact someone gives you is not a surefire way to determine if they’re interested or not. There are too many factors involved including, their level of confidence and how this person may have been raised.
Now that we’ve looked into the eyes, it’s time to look for other clues including -
2.) CONVERSATION
It’s a simple fact, if someone doesn’t like you as a person, they’re not going to give a damn about what you have to say.
AT ALL.
Just think about it, when you dislike someone, do you care at all about what it is they’re talking about? Does every word they speak sound stupid? Every time you hear their annoying voice, do you just want to punch ‘em? Huh?
Exactly.
Whether it’s someone you have a crush on or someone else in general, if they don’t like you, trust me, you’ll know it.
When you’re talking to this person, pay attention to both verbal and nonverbal cues, such as:
• Do they respond to you with a bunch of “cools”, “mm’s”, “reallys?” and “wows”?
• Do they constantly interrupt you to speak to someone else?
• Do they look at everyone and everything else except you?
• Do they physically walk away or turn in a different direction when you’re talking to them?
If so, they don’t like you, bub.
Either that or they’re INCREDIBLY RUDE.
It’s obvious that the more somebody is interested in you, the more they’re going to go out there way to speak with you. They’ll engage in conversation, give eye contact, ask questions, laugh, etc. etc. etc.
Whether you’re shy or not, it’s a simple fact that people are interested in talking to people who interest in them.
3.) When You Enter the Room, They Notice You.
It’s been shown that when we see somebody we are physically (or spiritually/emotionally) attracted to, we release higher levels of dopamine. Dopamine is known to be released when we do things that feel good or excite us, including spending time with loved ones or seeing someone that makes us happy. This chemical causes a reaction that make us giddy, energetic, and brings us into an intense state of euphoria.
Which explains why we get all nervous and do stupid sh** around those who make us feel like this.
I'm projecting.
Pay attention to how this person acts when you enter the room. Does it seem like they become more energetically charged? Nervous? Excited? When you leave the room, do you look back and see them watching you slowly break their hearts? Or does it seem as though they couldn’t give a damn whether you’re there or not?
If someone genuinely likes you as a person, you'll be able to tell in the way they act when you're around.
This is vital people…vital!
4.) How They Act Around Others
When you’re around this person, do they introduce you to people in their lives? Do they try to introduce yourself to people in your life? Do they ask you to hang out or join conversations? Or have they told you that they’ve mentioned you to others?
Whether as a friend or lover, if the answers to these questions are, “yes”,
THEY LIKE YOU.
In this dark world, the only real thing we have to hold on to are our relationships and the love we hold for people in our lives.
No one. I mean no one, is going to let you into a world of such sentiment. A world in which they call home if they don’t like you.
It doesn’t matter if this person is shy, if they’re inviting you into their world, it’s a major sign that they’re interested in having you be a part of it.
Disclaimer: If someone isn’t inviting you into their personal world, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they don’t like you. It just may not be the right time. Be patient. You never know what their situation is like or what they’re going through. If it’s been too long and it starts to bother you, just calmly ask them about the situation and be willing to hear them out.
5.) FRIENDS, FRIENDS, FRIENDS
If the person you’re wondering about has a group of friends (can’t relate) that you happen to be cool with, slyly get all the dirt on this mofo that you can.
Even if someone is shy and isn't ready to tell the whole world how they feel about you (or maybe aren’t sure how they feel about you as of yet), odds are, if they like you, they annoyingly may have brought you up in conversation once, maybe twice, or a thousand times.
Casually try to get information out of their friends. Now, don’t straight up say, “Hey, does ___ talk about me?” That’s going to make you seem thirsty and if they don’t talk about you, you’re going to look stupid.
Truth hurts.
Instead, discreetly try to bring them up in conversation without making it seem too obvious that you’re fishing.
If they’ve mentioned anything about you to their friends in the past, it’ll come up.
Both in friendships and romances, if someone is bringing you up to the people closest to them, especially when you’re not around…they like you.
Now, if you meet their friends and family and it turns out that they’ve never heard about you before…umm.
Sorry.
Welp folks, that’s that.
It’s incredibly hard trying to figure out how somebody truly feels about you nowadays without flat out asking them - which you can do by the way. Then you could avoid going through all this bullsh**.
Remember: These tips aren’t facts on whether or not someone likes or dislikes you, just advice.
Knowing how someone feels about you relies on various different factors. The best thing you can do? Talk to them. You can learn the most about someone AND how they feel about you by properly communicating with them; asking questions.
Believe me.
Communication is key.
Question Time:
Are you in the process of trying to figure out how someone feels about you? How's that going? I want to know everything.
What are some tactics you've used in trying to figure out if someone is just shy or not interested?
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Writing and getting to connect with people on a special level is something that I love to do. Nothing in this world beats being able to be your true, authentic self and have someone not only appreciate, but be able to relate to it in one way or another. It is my absolute dream, no, my goal to be able to do this as a career one day. Until then, if you'd like, you don't have to though (trust me, I know the struggle), you can visit the link by clicking here and donate to my blog. By doing this, you're helping me be able to one day stop doing freelance and be able to solely focus on my blog. Either way, thank you for stopping by and checking out what I have to say. I really appreciate it.