"Stay close to anything that makes you proud you are alive." - Hafez
Lately I’ve been having unbearable amounts of anxiety. This happens every now and then and when it does, there’s nothing I can do to get rid of it. Nothing.
I know that there’s a purpose for every emotion that makes its way through our souls. Everything we do or experience is for a reason. Everything.
This feeling relentlessly demanded to be felt within me until I had no choice but to call my Dad crying, which is something that I NEVER do.
He reminded me that nothing we feel is in vain. That this anxiety I’m feeling is only there to prepare me for what’s to come.
It’s hard, annoying, and terrifying, but how can I argue with that? I have to let it do what it needs to do...even if it’s doing it incredibly slowly.
Whenever I go through this state of undiagnosed fear, what I need most is to be with those I love as a means of healing.
It’s vital.
I can’t sit by myself between my silent four walls and be alone with my thoughts. It’s dangerous.
More than ever what I need is to stop doing life for a minute and breathe.
I don’t need to talk to anyone, I just need them to be here to distract me from the monster inside until it gets bored and leaves me alone. That's all I need.
So for the time being, I’ve been leaving life behind and focusing on things that bring me peace and distancing myself from anything stressful or triggering.
Until this goes away:
I made sure to pre-schedule blogs so I don’t have to worry about that.
I’ve been getting out of the house more.
I've been spending more time with my family.
I've been listening to a lot of music,
And even ditched class so I can get coffee with a friend.
Shh.
This anxiety has been kicking my butt, but it isn’t the first time I had to fight him off. I’ll be okay. I just need to focus on what brings me true happiness, if only for a week.
You should too.
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