If you’re somehow stumbling across this page, or if you’re a follower of mine, you just didn’t pay attention when I said this, minimum, 100 times, I’m about to tell you a little something about myself.
I’m multi-disabled.
Yup. I have not one disability, but two. Go ahead, you can let it out. I’m prepared to hear all the:
• “OMG. I’m so sorry’s.”
• “Two?! You poor unfortunate soul.”
• “You’re such an inspiration.”
• “Wait, and you still just like, live a normal life? So cool!”
• “It’s okay, you’re just like everyone else in my eyes.”
Ah...never gets old.
Did you not say any of this? You’re just here to read a freakin' blog about disability and my past is just triggering me again? Cool.
Jokes aside. Yes, I’m multi-disabled and that comes with a lot of ups and downs. In one of my previous blogs, I talked about all of the annoying things about being in a wheelchair but it’s time to clear that negativity and raise my positive vibrations. Wooh!
Yes there are a lot of things annoying about being multi-disabled, but every negative thing creates something positive within our lives.
Shoot! Just call me Tony Robbins.
Today, I’m going to talk to you guys about 5 Things That Being Multi-Disabled Has Taught Me in Life.
1. How to Love Myself
People may argue against this, but being disabled, especially multi-disabled, creates a lot of fear and insecurity within those who struggle with one form or another. I mean, it’s true and if you disagree, that’s okay, but you’re lying to yourself, bub.
Why shouldn’t we be more insecure than the average person?
People are always staring at us like we’re the nastiest piece of garbage. They patronize us ON THE DAILY. Society views love within the disabled community as a taboo subject. People are always trying to take advantage of us. We always have to feel like our lives aren’t "worthy" enough, "normal" enough, or worth loving. It’s INCREDIBLY HARD to meet genuine people who don’t focus on our disability and even more difficult to fall in love.
I’ve experienced all of this my entire life and so have a majority of those living with some form of disability. Through all of this I’ve been hurt, angry, sad, frustrated, confused and insecure, until one day I had no choice but to learn how to love myself and -
2. How to Not Give a Damn
If you guys haven’t caught on by me saying it 15 times in this blog already… I am multi disabled.
Now, people with slight anomalies get stared at a lot, people with one disability even more than that. But someone with two disabilities?
I am the holy grail for natural born starers.
As a child, having to deal with constant stares and dumb comments was difficult to deal with – naturally, but as I grew older it started going from embarrassment and insecurity to straight up annoyance.
I’ve heard these ignorant comments and seen thousands of creepy stares for many years to the point that I genuinely get angry. I can’t possibly understand how people could be this uncultured towards disabilities. Granted, there are many people out there who weren't raised around people with disabilities, but still, didn't anyone raise you better than to stare or ask rude questions?
Throughout my life I went through the five stages of grief when it came to my disability and how people would react to it. I’m proud to say that for the past couple of years, I have been in the final stage of acceptance.
I know that I'm disabled. I know that I'm “different“. I know that I'm “weird“ in more ways than one. I know those things about myself. But I also know that there’s nothing that I nor anyone else can do to change that.
I’m different. That’s that.
People can stare, laugh, point, make comments, throw holy water at me and pray for my parents’ sins to be forgiven if they want to. It hurts when they do those things, but I will try my hardest not let it cut to my core anymore. I know that when people act this way, it isn't me that’s the problem, it’s them. I don’t have any more energy to give them and I couldn’t be happier about that.
3. How to Do A Lot of Random Sh**
I think every disabled person can relate to me when I say, "When in doubt, improvise."
Obviously being in a wheelchair (or having any major disability in general) makes doing everyday chores much more difficult. Because of this, I'm constantly finding new, some may say "weird" ways to live a more independent life.
For example, I can't reach many things out of my refrigerator. Clearly a girls gotta eat, so I go to my silverware drawer, grab myself the longest and thickest spatula I can find, and use it to scoop whatever I need to the front of the fridge. Voila!
Also, if you didn't see in my Day in the Life of a Millennial blog, I can't get to the sink and brush my teeth like most people. Instead, I so gorgeously spit all of my plaque and leftover food into a paper cup.
Cute.
I may have to find a lot of random ways to do things in life, but if it means holding on to whatever independence remains, then that's just what I'll do.
4. How to Find Good People
One blessing about being disabled is that the people who choose to be in your life - and you choose to keep - are pretty damn cool.
Growing up disabled, you’re forced to come across all different types of people. You’re constantly being patronized, taken advantage of, looked down on, bullied, and sometimes left feeling lonely and a burden on other people. Luckily for me - and probably thousands of other people – I’ve learned how to spot those who make me feel this way and run as far as possible.
I know that the people who stay in my life love me for me. They don't care if I'm extra disabled, if I need a lot of help, if I can't do certain things with them, if people stare when they hang out with me, if I pee on myself every now and then, or if I phlegm literally every time I eat something slightly too sweet.
Can anyone relate? No? Okay.
The point is that they love me despite all of this and that's pretty dang amazing.
Tip to every disabled person: If you pee, phlegm, or do anything mortifying in front of someone new because of your disability and they laugh with you instead of at you...KEEP THEM.
5. Empathy
By far the greatest thing that being multi-disabled has taught me in life is how to not only accept, but empathize with others who may (or may not) fall under the category of “different”.
I’m not like most people, there’s no denying that. I’m 2-inches tall, in a wheelchair, annoying and WAY too in love with Broadway.
I had to learn at a young age that it’s not going to be easy meeting friends and even harder finding true love. I’ve learned that people are always going to have dumb things to say and even dumber looks to give me. I’ve learned that people are always going to look at my life as “different“ and that’s fine. In some ways it is.
Having people constantly remind me of my differences only subconsciously made me more accepting and loving towards other people’s "differences”.
I’ve become woke as hell.
Ew. Just, just ignore that.
Yes, being multi disabled is hard. There are so many difficult and annoying things that come with it, – which I have written and will continue to write about – but like every difficult situation in life, it has taught me so much.
Life sucks. It’s hard and tiring. Sometimes we want to throw in the towel and say, “fu** it”. However, it’s good to step back and think about how every situation has changed you in some way and lead you to where you are now. It allows you to realize that life doesn't suck…that much.
Question Time:
If you're disabled, what has your disability taught you in life and how have you grown from it?
If you're not disabled, how have your struggles in life allow you to grow to become who you are today?
I'd Love to Hear from You!
If you have any questions, comments, or just want to chit-chat, let's do it!
You can find me in the comment section down below or follow me on any of my socials and I'll get back to you ASAP. Make sure to follow this page to keep up to date on my latest posts.
Can't wait to hear from you!
Instagram: Itsjusttiana
Twitter: @itsjusttiana1
Pinterest: Itsjusttianablogs
Facebook: blogsbyt
Writing and getting to connect with people on a special level is something that I love to do. Nothing in this world beats being able to be your true, authentic self and have someone not only appreciate, but be able to relate to it in one way or another. It is my absolute dream, no, my goal to be able to do this as a career one day. Until then, if you'd like, you don't have to though (trust me, I know the struggle), you can visit the link by clicking here and donate to my blog. By doing this, you're helping me be able to one day stop doing freelance and be able to solely focus on my blog. Either way, thank you for stopping by and checking out what I have to say. I really appreciate it.