What is it that makes caffeine so addictive? How come we don’t want to spend ten dollars to buy a nutritional meal that’ll provide more blessings to our body than we can imagine, instead choosing to pay two bucks to slowly kill ourselves, yet we won’t blink an eye at the idea of spending, minimum, thirty-five bucks a week on a few cups of liquid drugs?
Without it we become monsters. Unable to form cohesive thoughts, angry at anyone crossing our paths, boiling headaches.
Maybe it’s the ecstasy we get when that rich blend of sugar and bitterness hits our tongues, instantly bringing us to a possibly placebo effect of enlightenment. Or maybe we’ve come to view it as the only thing that’ll carry us through this draining life. Who knows?
As a child I hated coffee. Scratch that. I don’t believe “hated” is a strong enough word.
I absolutely detested it!
Every morning I would turn away from the smell of my father’s morning kisses. When my teachers would enter with their steaming paper cups, I would practically upchuck my morning cereal across my desk. I wouldn’t even enter coffee shops when my parents needed their midday wake up. Instead, I just sat outside the door or in the stuffy, summer heat of a car, all in an attempt to hide from that dreadful stench.
It was a tough childhood if I may say so myself.
It all started in first grade. The day had begun pretty amazingly. Friends gathered around the playground, eating hot Cheetos and picking roles for our makeshift High School Musical “Broadway show”. When the bell rudely screamed in our ears, tearing us from our showbiz dreams, we all gathered inside where the teacher announced that we were going to be indulging in a game of heads up seven up due to our “outstanding performance” on the spelling test.
Yay!
It was all fun and games, bopping the fingers of my secret crush and laughing my obvious laugh all the way to the front of the room, where I would then disguise myself with a look of seriousness because I DON’T LOSE. But it wasn’t until the game was over that it all went downhill.
When the game finished, being that there weren’t necessarily any winners, we all received a box of jelly beans as a consolation prize. However, I must add that these weren’t your ordinary jelly beans. No. These were beans that your grandmother would pull from the bottom of her bag with lint and cheap MAC lipstick clinging to it, with flavors including; butterscotch, the darkest of chocolate, black cherry and…coffee.
The thing is, in my family, we don’t turn down free food. Ever. With that being said, I took my grandma box of candy and started eating them when an alarm started going off. Yes, an actual alarm. I popped one last bean into my mouth as we all started getting into formation to head out to the fields. Being that wheelchairs usually go first, I was in the front of the line, leading the pack. As we headed out into the summer heat, sun blazing straight into my eyes, I noticed a horrid taste coming from my mouth. Now, the other flavors were bad, but this one? It was choke worthy. As I tried to compose myself in attempt to not look completely insane in front of my friends, but probably failing, a bee came out of nowhere and started harassing me. There I was, blinded by the sun, trying to fight off this damn bee from landing in my hair, and possibly phleming from the horror show in my mouth.
It was a traumatizing situation. From that moment on, I swore I would never have that taste in my mouth again.
Isn’t that funny? How, as children, we swear on our favorite Disney stars that we’ll never like something, then as we grow older, we become borderline obsessed with that exact thing.
Today there’s nothing that satisfies me more than the smell of freshly roasted coffee beans. Than the chill of that sweet latte or rich cold brew making it’s way down my esophagus, lighting something up within me. If you’re looking for me, odds are I’m in a café, phone in hand, sipping on a five-dollar bathroom-inducer.
It’s an addiction I can’t kick, though I’ve tried. Oh, how I’ve tried.
You see, I’ve been trying to make this jump for a while now. There are too many inconveniences at play, making me question whether or not that sweet taste is even worth it.
A few years back, my doctor diagnosed me with acid reflux. She said that one of the main things that can trigger the effects of this condition is in fact, caffeine. Not only that, but last year I was diagnosed with anxiety as well. Coffee has been shown to raise levels of anxiety, especially if drunken on an empty stomach, which I’ll admit, I do all the time. Finally, it’s just too expensive. Did you know that you can buy an entire box of tea for the price of one cup of coffee? Sorry, but I like my money.
I want to quit coffee. I do. But every time I stop, it haunts me, calls me. Maybe I should learn to trust a child’s intuition.
Question Time:
Have you ever tried to quit coffee? Did you fail/succeed? How'd you get through it?
I'd Love to Hear from You!
If you have any questions, comments, or just want to chit-chat, let's do it!
You can find me in the comment section down below or follow me on any of my socials and I'll get back to you ASAP. Make sure to follow this page to keep up to date on my latest posts.
Can't wait to hear from you!
Instagram: Itsjusttiana
Twitter: @itsjusttiana1
Pinterest: Itsjusttianablogs
Facebook: blogsbyt
Writing and getting to connect with people on a special level is something that I love to do. Nothing in this world beats being able to be your true, authentic self and have someone not only appreciate, but be able to relate to it in one way or another. It is my absolute dream, no, my goal to be able to do this as a career one day. Until then, if you'd like, you don't have to though (trust me, I know the struggle), you can visit the link by clicking here and donate to my blog. By doing this, you're helping me be able to one day stop doing freelance and be able to solely focus on my blog. Either way, thank you for stopping by and checking out what I have to say. I really appreciate it.